At the end of the day…

I think I’ve been working too long because I’ve been in meetings that sounded like this:

Boss: I know many of you have been out of pocket lately and I wanted to keep you in the loop.  First let’s helicopter up and get an eagle’s eye view with our embarrassment of riches so we can move the needle for our clients and give them the most bang for their buck. Doubling back to the mission statement, we need to capture the mind share of our demography and be true corporate partners with an intrusive, breakthrough, out-of-the-box full-court press.

So team, let’s cherry pick the low hanging fruit. We’ll do the heavy lifting up front because this news will only be news once. Let’s drill down to the year-over-year objectives and focus on the aspirationally chic D.I.N.K.S. The RFP/RFI/RFQ/ITN isn’t a problem, it’s an opportunity to make the dollars work harder because what their spending with us isn’t an expense, it’s an investment.

Let’s make this response ownable, accountable, have a long shelf life with value added. The nuts and bolts will level the playing field and change the landscape of the competitive set.  Down the road we’ll push the envelope.  At the end of the day, this will be a server-crashing effort with depth and breadth that will certainly go viral.

So let’s burn the midnight oil and change the mindset, up the conversion rate.  Thank you all for your time.  We’ll do lunch and your money’s no good near me.

7 thoughts on “At the end of the day…

  1. Marvellous, funny and well written. The galling thing is I expect we all are guilty using at least one of these ‘management speak’ phrases from time to time! Still, when we ARE in meetings with people who insist on talking like this, it provides a fantastic opportunity to enjoy a few moments of buzzword bingo.

    1. Hi Stuart-

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. Actually it was easy to write. And I do get good laughs daily as I hear it daily. Thank you for your invaluable feedback. I’ll take it back to corporate and shop it around.


  2. When I hear the phrase,” at the end of the day”, I immediately conjure up the image of Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, standing over that poor black robber dude lying in the street, with a Magnum trained on the guy’s sweat beaded forehead, ” Are you feeling lucky today.”

    In this scene, I’m Dirty Harry.

  3. That is simply the funniest thing I have heard in a while. You forgot ROI though. That’s a big one in all of my meetings. How do we leverage our digital alchemy into actual ROI…yack.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s