Would you answer a text during sex?

You see it every day and so do I.

Technology and mobile devices have infiltrated our lives. People may be physically shoulder to shoulder, but has technology brought us closer together or is it making us more isolated? Eugene Ramirez responded to that question via Twitter. “For the singles group, we’re forgetting how to approach people out and about. We socialize/flirt better online. Sad!”

I see it every day on the Metrorail. People are butt cheek to butt cheek, but are on their devices and don’t even know anyone else is there.  Here are some shots I took during my short commute today.

I see it in the gym. How do I say hi when I can hear Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do It” blasting out of the iPod? HOW?!?

I see a couple at a romantic dinner and they’re both on their PDA’s.  In the back seats of cars, a brother and a sister are watching two different DVD’s on two different players with headphones on. And I see it in meetings. People are responding to texts, e-mails and even taking phone calls in a formal meeting setting. I call it, “The new rude.”  According to an article published in Advertising Age,  even one in 10 under the age of 25 said they would answer a text during sex!

Look at this shot I grabbed at breakfast last Christmas morning at Roasters’ n Toasters in Pinecrest:

Is this gentleman waiting for a phone call from Obama? Santa? Aren’t the stock markets closed?

Is this theater patron in the midst of a hostile takeover of Microsoft and waiting for Carl Icahn to call?

Do people really get this happy when they score an iPad?

I’m kind of at a loss so help me out here. Are we suddenly like cats and always want to be on the other side of the door? Have we lost touch? Would you answer a text during sex? Has technology brought us closer together or farther apart? Why?


“Love the one you’re with.” –Stephen Stills

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33 Responses to “Would you answer a text during sex?”

  1. BBM – Boon, or Bane?! « noshtradamus Says:

    […] Related Post: From Mike LaMonica’s Blog ~ Would You Answer a Text During Sex? […]

  2. Noshtradamus Says:

    Yeah… its crazy how widespread this malaise is!

    Besides guys like Obama/Santa’s assistant (pure show-off) there are the those with OCT (Obsessive Compulsive Textorder)

    Your pictures bring out what I tried to write in my post here: http://noshtradamus.com/2010/10/30/bbm-boon-or-bane/

    PS. This is my first comment here, but I am a subscriber to your blog, and an avid reader – thanks for great posts!

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Well thanks for stopping by! I love your post. Let’s just call them different ways of going about it. Thanks for subscribing. I just did the same and look forward to your posts!


  3. NoddyC Says:

    That is so true. People take delight in studying ‘their private parts’ and ignoring everything else around them. Conversations on mobiles, laptops etc are creating a self centred generation. It seems remarkable to me that when passing people we cannot give a polite greeting.

    I started greeting people on passing years ago and now I get greetings returned to me, in fact now if I don’t greet first I am looked at scornfully.

    Is the human race a waste of space?


  4. infamousashley Says:

    Wow, since I’m only 14 I use my phone, Ipod and laptop a a lot! I try really hard to never use my phone in front of people. Unless I am getting a call from my mom or dad, then I won’t look at it. The only time in public though that I do use it, is when I am standing or walking awkwardly through a hallway or down a street, just so that I don’t have to make eye contact or so that people think I’m not just wandering or standing for nothing. Half the time, all I’m doing is clicking buttons and not answering a text or getting a call. This world has come to something bad….

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Ashley-

      I didn’t see this comment until just now, sorry. I have a hard time believing you’re 14 and just “fake text.” But if you do, good for you!

      Thank you for stopping by again. Be well.


  5. writenowlife Says:

    Funny and sad commentary post all in one. To text during the intimacy of sex? At first I laughed then just shook my head thinking of tech addicts I know who probably would. For the record, I wouldn’t. I also think it is rude to be primed to take calls and texts while at a meal or coffee/drinks with someone…unless it is an absolute emergency (a family member repeatedly calling back-to-back) or a “must take” call (like something scheduled with a company exec).

    I don’t have a Smartphone yet, so I’m working with basic text options. I’ll send a text if waiting for an appointment, on lunch break or at night. I must admit I do feel the urge to immediately reach and check whenever the phone buzzes that I have a message. I grew up in a world just before cell phones so I find it weird that I’ve adapted so readily to this craving for instant and more. Back in the day, we would answer the phone without having to know who it was and wait until getting home to check messages.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Thanks for stopping in! Yes back in the day, you either missed a call or took the chance that someone in the family would give you a message.

      We all survived so well without mobile phones, even on long driving trips or flying somewhere. The safety it provides is great, but now there’s such a thing as distracted driving. Have you been on a plane lately? What’s the first thing that happens when the wheels hit the ground on landing. Two hundred people on the phone.

      I hope you can get by for as long as possible, because once you get a Smartphone, it easier to “stay connected.” I guess applying our own limitations would be ideal. Try telling that to the teen that sends 5,000 texts a month.


  6. Vicequeenmaria Says:

    I don’t see how I could .. I mean the rope is really tight on the headboard!

  7. Etiquette From the Trenches Says:

    I agree with you completely about the new rude! It amazes me when I see teens out with each other and they’re all texting on their phones. Also, the moms who are out with their kids and on the phone the entire time (okay, okay … I’m a bit guilty here at times but I try!)

    I agree that work now expects us to be constantly reachable which can be a challenge. But how many of those texts/calls that people take during inappropriate moments are actually from work?

    Great blog, a favorite topic of mine!
    P.S. My answer is no.

    P.P.S. While typing this I answered one text and took a call.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Amy-

      I try to go with the Bill Clinton school of thought. When someone is in front of me, I want them to feel that they are the only person in the world.

      I do my best too…


  8. Brad Says:

    I’m lucky that most of the people in my apartment are pretty friendly and aren’t weirded out by elevator conversations, even the extremely attractive women who probably get solicited all the time anyway.

    Honestly, the guy in the corner with the bluetooth headset, trying to break the world typing record on his blackberry comes across as more creepy than someone who’s just genuinely nice and friendly.

  9. mkhall Says:

    At every technical conference I’ve attended in the past five years has included at least one panel where at least one panelist was texting/e-mailing while another panelist was speaking. The Business Objects conferences were the worst for that, because most of the attendees and speakers were corporate executives.

    To answer a question with a question, though: What if you’re sexting? Wouldn’t it be rude NOT to reply?

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hey MK-

      You’ll have to ask Brett Favre the etiquette on that one.

      I sincerely do hate when people e-mail, whatever, during presentations. I hate “the new rude!”


      • mkhall Says:

        Yeah, Favre or any high schooler. (My apologies to any horrified parents.)

        Yet to the bigger question, there’s an expectation in many corporate environments that all employees be available 24/7, and *particularly* if they are at a conference, which is never seen as being as important as it should be. The “new rude” is also a fact of life in business today.

  10. Annette Says:

    Well said, Michael. This is a pet peeve of mine. Out to dinner with my husband and he is lost in his iphone. Kids communicating with their peers via elecronic devices all day long. Saying and sharing things that are inappropriate because it is easier when you are not face to face with a human being. Not that I don’t appreciate the amazing new technology, but we have to remember what is most valuable in life. In the end, the relationships you have with human beings and how you manage them are what matters most both personally and professionally.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Annette!

      All this stuff is a pet peeve of mine. I remember when I bought my first house and I first picked up the phone. There was someone on it–we had a arty line! The good old days. I keep this technology way in check and encourage the same, especially with my son–even though he likes Tweeting! I guess it’s good to learn.

      For those of you that don’t know, Annette is my beautiful cousin ringing in from Kingston, WA. You made my day and my love to all…

      ~Cousin Mike

  11. Jessica Says:

    There was once a chain email my ex received, it was the video of a girl who answers her cell phone while having sex with whom you’d think is her boyfriend but as you hear her talking she says “Stop being so dumb, of course I’m not cheating on you” and she rants on giving the person on the phone attitude about how annoying and paranoid he is because he doesn’t trust her, the viewer now realizes that the person on the phone is her boyfriend….so who is the guy in the video!?! In the case of ‘would you answer a call during sex?’ Would this not be the most ironic situation? (Vulgar I know but this is what I was reminded of). I guess it all depends on how important the call is?

  12. SueanneShirzay Says:

    No. Just No. LOL. Okay, let me rephrase this.. NOOOO!

  13. Jill Says:

    There have been times my phone has gone off during sex, and R will look and tell me who texted me…even though I didn’t ask. Once he picked it up and started texting back to my BFF, telling her exactly what he was doing to me…but that was just funny.

    Would I answer a casual text? No…it can wait.

  14. iamrobtoast Says:

    Pretty on point except for picking on the commuters. Before cell phones they probably read papers, right? People need their “me” time in the morning.

    Great post on the whole though. I think I read recently that teens are sending upwards of 5K texts a month! And yes, we are all probably better at flirting online for various reasons.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:


      I agree about the commuters, but the techno-intensity has ratcheted way up past prior levels. Plus, a few were taken in the afternoon on my way home.

      It’s part of the new frenetic, instant world that we are allowing ourselves to live in. It’s like the Jetsons. “Jane stop this crazy thing.”

      Thanks for stopping in Rob.


  15. @josenbcmiami Says:

    Nothing says, “you’re not interesting and rather be talking to/hearing from any of my sometimes random followers than be talking to you..” than when checking Twitter during a meal.

    Trust me guilty too!!!! Make me feel like crap! It’s almost an addiction for some!

  16. Rob Says:

    Personally, I pretend to be checking my cell phone texts practically every day so I don’t need to exchange eye contact or any niceties with the many asshole tenants that permeate the office building where I work. Without that crutch, well, I’d have to tell Hummer Guy or Dickhead Smoker or Mr. Personality or Shut-the-Fuck-Up Man to go to hell. Better this way.

    Answer a text during sex? NO. But international calls, sure, as long as they are short and someone died.

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