This is a big fat shout out for my ex-wife

1) Hey, thanks for the Guyabera for Christmas.

But if you didn’t notice, I’ve been working out and lost some weight. XL is too big for me and I’m swimming in the damn thing. If you have the receipt, please let me have it. I’m an L not an XL. Thanks.

 2) The Cuban time thing.

You’ve been much better about being on time for stuff. But you can still do better. I know you’re Cuban and I love the whole Cuban thing. It’s one of the reasons I moved here.  I also love your Cuban family (drama and all)  but I prefer to run closer to Gringo time for drop offs and pick ups of our son. Thanks again. I have all my clocks set about 10 minutes fast. I’ll do yours if you want me to.

3) You have your shortcomings and so do I. But I’d like to congratulate you on being nominated as the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Woman Of The Year. You deserve it. You’re a cancer survivor.

We met right after you finished your treatments. It’s been probably more than ten years now and there’s about a skabillion people that are thrilled that you’re still free and clear. I know helping find a cure for cancer, any type of cancer, is something that means a lot to you and it means a lot to me.

4) You are a great mother and a great ex-wife. But then again I don’t have another ex-wife to compare you to yet.

5) In some ways our lives are separate now and in other ways they’ve never been more together. One thing’s for sure: we’re together on this fight to find a cure for cancer and I’m happy to ask everyone to join us in this important battle by donating below.

To view the ex’s donation page, click here.

So that’s the shout out for my ex. Thank you so much everyone for doing your best on this and as always my best to you all.


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36 Responses to “This is a big fat shout out for my ex-wife”

  1. grantstern Says:

    finally got to read this one… what’s her phone number anyhow? akermann? damn, they love me.

  2. blackwatertown Says:

    Good man.

  3. Jackie Gutierrez-Jones Says:

    Am just catching up on this post now, but I wholeheartedly second SFF&W on that ‘classy’ comment. A+, Mike. And a great cause to boot!

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Thanks for stopping by for the cause Jackie,

      It’s the best of initiatives and I’m super flattered. Especially when the super class acts call me one!

      My best to you as always.


  4. Brad Says:

    Maybe if you went to LA Fitness more than once a year you could fill out an XL!

    In all seriousness Mike, great post. I’m sure she appreciates the shout out

  5. Sueanne Shirzay Says:

    Dear Mike,
    Thank you for correcting gift card to receipt as it offended my fashionista and retail sensibilities. Do you know how many hours of training it takes millions of employees to say “do you want a gift receipt with that?” It’s like the McDonald’s fries of fashion, man.

    Next: *THAT*, my friend is an awesome Tommy Bahama garment. Please do not belittle it or the giver by complaining about the size, because even if you never wear it, you can gaze at it longingly knowing that EVEN on sale it cost the giver an arm and a leg, and not only do they love you, but DAMN do they have great taste.

    HINT: if there is a little sticker with a bar code on it, on the tag, it’s in the system and you can exchange it. Isn’t luxury retail grand?

    If you can’t return it, I suggest you eat more just so you can wear it.

    A huge to congrats to your ex, who is obviously amazing in every way. I hope you and she raise lots of dough for a wonderful organization.


    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Sueanne,

      Thanks for upping my fashionista lingo that had nowhere to go but up! And thanks for the tip on the barcode. But I think I’m going to keep it for our son. Ten y/o 5’4″ or 5’5″ and soon to be bigger than daddy.

      I appreciate the kind words and the fashionista schooling!


  6. Chuck Says:

    Great post! As you know LLS is an important cause to me. I have raised in excess of $30,000 through Team in Training and am always happy to contribute more. I hope Jackie wins, she deserves it, but the most important thing is the money raised will help others win in their fight against cancer.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Chuck,

      As you or anyone will read on her donation page, “Since 1949 the survival rate for many blood cancer patients has doubled or tripled and in some cases quadrupled.”

      That’s because of people like you. Take a bow. And thanks for taking the time to comment on this important post.


  7. SingleLatinaMama Says:

    This is awesome! I’ll donate tomorrow! Thanks for sharing Mike! 🙂

  8. Alex de Carvalho Says:

    Six months ago that Guayabera would have fit me perfectly, but thanks to your help I’m now an M. Gracias 😉

    Great post, by the way — it made me want to write about my ex. Wait … maybe not …

    But your post also made me want to donate without hesitation.

  9. Rob Says:


    That Cuban-time thing–it pisses me off too. Just substitute Colombian for Cuban.

    Feel free to have your ex shop for me too. I’m still an XL and even got a few XXL for “extra comfort” and “because the XL always shrinks”

    Sounds like a good relationship. Beat cancer? Hell, yeah!


    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hey Rob,

      Thanks for the props. This is as important as it gets. XL important.

      I don’t think the Cuban time thing is changing any time soon, but I tried to sneak it in with the “let’s beat cancer” message. It was worth a shot.

      Thanks again Rob.


  10. LoreLama Says:

    This is awesome!!! Such an amazing cause too… (pulling out wallet)

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      The sweetest Lorena,

      You are in inspiration to so many of us and in so many ways. And tonight you just showed everyone another reason to love you. Right here on my humble little blog.



  11. Natascha Says:


    As an ex myself, I thank you for this beautifully written, insightful, and loaded with care blogpost! You have made it very easy to want to help the foundation w a donation not only because of how much we all care about you, but because we care now about your ex too! 😉

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Thank you so much Natascha! You are always the best at everything (especially in the nice department!).

      Because of you so many more people will be celebrating many more happy birthdays and I can’t wait to celebrate with you again! But I might have to wait a bit.

      Abrazotes and thank you for helping the foundation in any way you can.


  12. Michelle Says:

    I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog, but never felt comfortable leaving a comment. But couldn’t resist this time – your relationship with your ex is pretty amazing. What a lucky son.

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Dear Michelle,

      I’m so happy you commented here and any and all comments are welcome on this page except spam.

      Our son is a wonderful boy. My proudest moment was when he got the “Friendliest Camper” award this summer. I think he’s gonna turn out great…

      Please do stop by any time you want. I run a people friendly blog. That’s the drill here. My best to you.


  13. Maria Says:

    Mike, my dear! Anyone who has survived cancer can be 10 minutes late. Give the lady a break. 🙂

  14. Janie Coffey (@JanieC) Says:

    Can I be your next ex? 🙂 Luv ya, Mike!

  15. Blanca Stella Mejia Says: are the sweetest Mikey. ❤

  16. Sabrina Says:

    This is one of the best blog posts I’ve read in 2012. Loved it, Mike! 😀

    • Mike LaMonica Says:

      Hi Sabrina!

      Thanks so much but there’s a lot of 2012 to go:)))))))))))) This is important stuff and I reeeeeeealy appreciate you commenting.

      My best to you as always.


  17. South Florida Food and Wine Says:


  18. Manny Ruiz Says:

    OUCH! That’s a classic one, Mike!

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